I was little when I asked Jesus into my heart – young enough that I still thought of Jesus physically being in my heart. My salvation was real, I knew Jesus, and grew up active in our church. I have never known life without Jesus in it. However, as a teenager, I would wonder about my relationship with God. I didn’t feel like I had passion in my relationship with Him. I felt His fire at youth retreats and conventions, but I knew that was different than having passion. So, I prayed for passion. Fast forward 15 years. God has given me passion. It often consumes me. I feel like a cup that is overflowing, and I’m scrambling around in a frenzy of excitement trying to find out what to do with all of “it”. “It” is a number things, like sharing God’s love & HOPE with Tibetans through knitting. Another, is my artwork. In the past I’ve simply let “it” spill out all over the place. I don’t know what to do with “it”, so I start talking about “it” looking for direction as I wait to see what God is going to make out of the mess.
Mandy of Messy Canvas shared this statement on Facebook a while back.
“Quite frankly Christians, I’m ready to see you, not your Jesus. Show me you.”
This status update & the conversation that follows has gripped me in such a way that months later, it still pulls at me. It has started me down an internal path of wrestling. I don’t know where the path will lead me, or even what direction it takes me. When I’ve written my thoughts into a journal I seem to be all over the place in a kind of swirling ball of passion. I know that I have found something that is important, but I am unable to define it. This single sentence has sparked a flame in me. It is creating a passion for divine inspiration. I’m searching for what to do about it as it is still very messy, swirling around in my heart & my head without any definition.
I have started the “Show Me You” series to give myself a place to work through the swirling ball inside me. I hope, dear reader, that you will jump in the conversation and offer your own thoughts & ideas to help me in my search for direction.